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Gronch's Jingle Shells

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I thought I'd put a little something together covering the Christmas update.


Meet Christmas Heist. A journey through a cargo crate maze to save Christmas trees and toys. Destroy Gronch's minions, including his beloved Max. 15 minutes of bullet filled jolly destruction.


Also meet the Ice box. The new cabin found in the shop.


Merry Christmas everyone.

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Anyone want to write up the lyrics of a song about the Gronch, under the tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"?




Personally here's what I came up with. (Warning, censored profanity ahead):

  • You're an a**hole, Mr. Gronch.
  • You're a heartless, soulless, motherf*****.
  • You're a humongous son of a b****, and have a soul blacker than the abyss, Mr. Gronch.
  • Your tree-shaped piles of cars, and your snowmen made of tires are such tacky perversions of the Christmas Joy that you seek to blot out from this Earth, like the sick and twisted madman that you are.
  • You're a d*****bag, Mr. Gronch.
  • You condemned your beloved Max to his demise.
  • You're a b***ard child of a w***e, and you should've never been born, Mr. Gronch.
  • Given the extreme sinfulness and depravity of that twisted trash heap of an amalgamation that you call your dignity, I'd much rather play a game of Russian Roulette with Psycho Pete.
  • You're a monster, Mr. Gronch, and no, it's not in a good way.
  • The Lunatics don't accept you, and the Brotherhood wants your head, Mr. Gronch.
  • Whereas a similarly-named green-haired monster, who also tried to steal Christmas, eventually developed a heart, you, sir, do not deserve any such redemption.
  • You disgust me, Mr. Gronch.
  • How your evil came to exist, I'll never know.
  • Your distorted "ho-ho-hos" frighten all the little boys and girls, Mr. Gronch.
  • I sincerely doubt that you'd repent your sick and twisted ways, even if I shoved my Reapers up your, and I quote... glowing... weak... spot.



Edited by ShadowWolfTJC

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