Wasteland Poetry

Roses were red,
My EYE is red, too,
Red is the theme of my EYE’s haiku.

One drove great.
One drove like shit.
One drove straight into the Ravagers Pit.

The wasteland is dusty, dry, and wide,
but I have skulls to pry,
and miles to go before I die…
…and miles to go before I die…
~TS Ravager


Crosscrowns are greedy and the game-play is skewed
Towards META and melee and pay to win too

The wasteland is desolate and the player-base through
With dumb-ass developers harshing their groove

They could be so famous so pretty and rich
Instead all their patrons either leave or just bitch


Here’s some Wasteland Limerick Eulogies:

There once was a builder named Sand.
He made the best rides in the 'land.
When it didn’t work out
he’d delete his account
and make all his videos banned.

There once was a 'Tuber named Tree.
He hated firedog melee.
When they nerfed his Typhoons
he couldn’t stun lock the goons and
he quit playing the game for free.


There was a player named Sethio
He tried to make his channel grow
In his quest to be great
he spewed so much hate
no one was sad to see him go.


you guys are epic!

There was a player named Carpet Creamer
A diamond tier Clan Wars streamer
he won so much ore
he deleted his store
to quit his Crossout addiction cleaner

The noobs roll in
the noobs roll out
The noobs get slaughtered and then they shout

“It’s pay to play
It’s pay to win
I don’t think I’ll ever play that again”

So now it’s me
And now it’s you
Waiting eternally in this queue

There’s no one here
There’s no one there
This game is all bots and clones we share

Where are the fans
Where are those fools
And did the Monkey go drown in his pool?


This is the best one yet. Here’s my corresponding eulogy:

Darth glimmered at the thought of his past
That day when he blew up the last
new player on the docket
with his fused relic rockets
he lowered the flag to half mast.