Often it’s only forced politeness. People just “don’t want to bother anyone”, either because they are not used to share and open or because they’ve been burned (rejected or mocked) once and their trust cannot be regained that easy. About 90% of them require someone just to talk to, at first. Most don’t have real friends. Not some semblance of known people with their eversmiling faces and false cackles at the worst possible jokes but living people with their own moods, characters, and real affection; genuine friendship.
I don’t know who or what to blame for this kind of mental block, so I’ll leave it at that.
So true. This people just don’t think where all that strength and will came from.
Also they spread that false idea that everyone can and people buy it, pass it on like wisdom.
World is so full of crap this days, although I don’t think it was better before. Just weird that with so many progress and knowledge we are still in this weird mess of a world.
I probably shouldn’t have been posting via my phone. It limits my replies too much. I think I alluded to the fact that I know I’m overly-generalizing with my statements. I should clarify…
When I say people who are or aren’t struggling, that needs clarification. I’m not talking about emotionally or mentally. I’m talking about struggling to live a normal life. By normal life, I mean a job, family & the social support system that entails. You can have that in a single wide trailer living in the sticks working as a cashier at the local bait shop. You can have that as a CEO of a multi-national corp.
People generally aren’t struggling to have that. You either go get it or you don’t. You either value what it takes to maintain those things, or you don’t. The people RoughMonkey and I were talking about clearly do not and did not value those things. Remember the context in which we were talking. We were talking about men who come home from work & would rather play this game than be a husband and father.
That wasn’t meant to be applied to people who have PTSD or stage 4 terminal cancer. That’s not the struggle I was referencing, whether it sounded like that or not. I could’ve been more clear.
I think… hope that’s unique to the Vietnam Vets. One of my best friends is 100% disabled due to that conflict, and when he tells his story, it usually begins with the day he came home. That speaks volumes. We can endure unbelievable trauma if we feel it is for a greater purpose. To have endured that for that purpose only to have the welcome those men did… well…
I had another friend - long since passed away - who was a flamethrower trooper on Iwo Jima. Amazing man… he apparently didn’t tell his story until I was tasked with interviewing an elderly person for an 8th grade school project. It was then I was treated to a tour of his basement and of an 8’ wide, 16’ long 3D diorama of the island & multiple tales of what he’d witnessed. His wife later told me she wasn’t allowed down there…
Both of those men are/were family men with “the normal life” thing.
Not for a second do I think either of them are “fine.”
As for my own story… well… maybe one day I’ll share that. Usually, when I do, I get the impression people think I’m exaggerating how insane it’s been. When they discover I’ve sugar coated things, I get a chuckle.
My own past, though, does make me a little bit of an a-hole when it comes to pity-parties.
The vast majority of people who claim to be struggling with excuses for their failures have actually had far more opportunities in life than I ever did. And before it starts sounding like I’m getting on any high horse about how awesome I am, I know plenty of people who had it worse - have done better - and have nothing but gratitude in their hearts for the amazing lives they’ve lived.
That’s who I want to be.
That doesn’t mean I or anyone else should be callous to people who feel they’re struggling, even though I feel that tendency within me.
The worst thing anyone has ever been through is the worst thing they’ve ever been through… even if that’s just a normal day for someone else.
All I ask is that people actually try. If you say you’re struggling, actually struggle… which brings this long TLDR back around to the OP. Where’s the joy? Well… if it’s not here, go away. For the love of God, go away and find it elsewhere. Why ruin your own day with this stupid game & forum. Go live life.
I scratched my way up from the streets, then the military, then corperate life, then my own business. I built everything I own, and I would give ever last penny to my family.
I spend 90% of my money on other people.
My adult children do not want for anything, nor do their families.
A strong family is key to a good life - We have each others backs. No one in my family wants for anything, period. I spent a lifetime to make sure that was the case.
And pinnacle of that “successful life” is being here more than moderators
Why don’t you spend time with your family huh? They need you. Teach you kids, your grand kids how to be this successful in life. They need you, please, don’t let your family down.
If you want to adopt someone, I never knew my daddy… and I need a new graphics card.
I have tons of people I call “acquaintances” that some people might call friends.
Outside of the people who live in my home - my immediate family - I am blessed to have a handful of true friends who I know from experience, if my world explodes, they’ll show up. Amazing people… I call those people family, though, so…
Lol, I love how everyone thinks they know how I spend my life or how much time I spend with my family.
Does anyone else here work in an office? Or work in healthcare with doctors? Does anyone else here own their own art agency? Is half of your work doing corperate Gala’s with non-profits and charity events raising millions a year for local community healthcare?
News flash - the more money you make the less “work” you need to do. I read the forum between emails and phone calls in my office.
I spend most my day telling people what to do. I understand most peoples lives are not like that.
But mine is.
My family works with me. So my kids are normally in the same office as I am 5 days a week and then weekends we spend together too. (Unless they are taking vacations to hang with friends)
How many people here work at the same place as your family? I’m sure we might have someone else?
If not, then maybe the people that think I don’t spend time with my family should get a new job, because they are wasting 8-10 hours a day you could spend with family.
My 19 year old daughter made more money with me last year then the average family of 4 in our local area.
So worry about yourself buddy, because my family are my friends, I don’t really hang out with anyone else.
I’m saying it’s not a good look to go judge somebody else’s bad marriage or whatever, presume you know what they are going through, mock them, and then be upset when when somebody does the same to you.
It’s probably not right in either case, but I think the irony is remarkable. Sorry.
it’s all I care about. I love talking about my family.